Drive to Shimla

December is here. The tourist season is about to hit big time. All the shops and the hotels in Shimla hills are getting ready to welcome plainsmen, who are eagerly awaiting a white Christmas. My friends and family from around the country keep asking me in expectant tones, ‘Is it snowing in Shimla?’ I laugh at their enquiries (and their ignorance of geographical weather phenomenon) and ask them to keep a tab on the weather reports. They chime, ‘No, we don’t trust these weathermen. Just give us a call when it starts snowing and we’ll be there.’

I am looking forward to these snow aficionados’ visit to the ‘queen of the hills’. But just the other day, on my way down to the near by plains, I kind of had a change of heart. The reason for this sudden about turn was the flow of traffic coming uphill. The pleasant drive down the winding hill roads seems like a nightmare, when you are faced with hundreds of vehicles (especially cars) coming up, carrying the horrific driving habits of their urbane drivers with them.

Drivers from the plains need to understand that driving in the hills is slightly (an understatement!) different from driving in the plains. For them driving bang in the middle of the road is a fine tuned art form and they love to display their well honed skills. (No, Sir, we are not impressed). In order to defend a fundamental right, that is the right to live and enjoy life, I would like to apprise my driver brethren from the plains (No, I am not being sexist. I noticed that most of the defaulters were male!) of the road etiquettes that we hill folks follow (yes, I am a convert!). So here are some rules for you. If you wish to enjoy our generous hospitality, please follow these rules to a T. Thank you.

Rule 1: Smile! And hold that smile (you never know who is busy clicking pictures of the hills, you might find yourself in the foreground, and that frown wouldn’t do justice to your handsome face!)

Rule 2: The driver in front of you is not in race with you. So relax! Take it easy! Enjoy the journey!

Rule 3: The driver behind you is not your enemy. Don’t block his path.

Rule 4: The driver overtaking you from the right (the correct way!) is not committing an act of treason. Let him pass.

Rule 5: The line in the middle of the road is not there to help you align your car (bus or truck) astride it. It is there (believe it or not) to keep to its left!

Rule 6: Learn from the wisdom of the hills and don’t be in a hurry. The price that you pay for those few minutes is not worth it!

Rule 7: Be accommodative not only of the other motorists, but also of the pedestrians. Unlike in the plains, the pedestrians of the hills are equal shareholders! So if you need to squeeze your 12 foot wide spanking SUV to the very left edge of the road, to let an oncoming car pass, so be it. And yes, pedestrians do have a right of way in the hills (yes, I know we hill folks are crazy!)

Rule 8: Parking in the hills is a problem unlike back home in the plains. You can’t park or halt in the middle of the road (how incredibly inconvenient for you!). Please park in the ear marked parking lots, or well off the (not-so-wide) roads.

Rule 9: Smile! You deserve it!

Rule 10: Now that you are in ‘paradise’, please help us keep it clean (unless you don’t ever want to visit us again!)
I hope my friends and family are reading this!

The Times of India, Shimla Plus, 1st December 2007, Chitra Jha